Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Sometimes, the AVMA makes me so frustrated...

I guess that's not a very nice title for tonight's blog.  Evidently, over Thanksgiving, Obama signed a bill that will remove the ban of horse slaughter for human consumption.  What frustrates me about this is that I first hear about this first from animal lovers freaking out over Facebook, when they do not have all of the information, and not from the AVMA (American Veterinary Medical Association).  These "articles" circulating on Facebook do not explain that since the ban on slaughter has been in place (5 years ago), horse owners have not been able to (or not choosing to) properly feed and care for their horses during this recession.  As a result, for five years, horses have been starving to death in people's dried up pastures or inhumanely shipped to Mexico for slaughter that may not be overseen by qualified people to ensure that the procedure is pain-free.  Anyway, back to my gripe by the AVMA, I had to dig through the Internet looking for the truth in this story, settling on an article from DVM Magazine.  At this time, the AVMA has still not made an official statement on this bill or notified its members of its occurrence, so we can at least provide education for our client.  Goodness!  Even PETA has posted a statement on this situation already!  The AVMA is always behind...and they wonder why the younger generation of veterinarians feel that they are out of touch.  I'm just stating that I wish I could hear about an issue like this FIRST from my professional association (whose opinion I would like to respect and serve as a guidance for how I may discuss this issue with clients) and NOT from social media.
Here is the article from DVM 360.  I usually do like reading DVM Magazine.
http://veterinarynews.dvm360.com/dvm/article/articleDetail.jsp?id=751022&pageID=1

I promise to be more cheery next time!
                  Josie

The Numbers:  November 29, 2011 - Breakfast:  oatmeal.  Lunch:  sweet potato, olive oil, sea salt, lamb, pear.  Snack #1 carrots.  Snacks #2 and 3 (about 1 pm) Oreos, peanut butter, land o' lakes butter, Arnold's Honey Wheat Toast.  Dinner:  Orange roughy, olive oil, sea salt, asparagus, pear.  Dessert - mint Oreos (I won't lie...I ate many).
Medication:  Prosed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID.
Pain:  0 in AM  Around 10:30 am, while feeling a little overwhelmed volunteering at the food pantry, cystitis (and maybe urethritis) increased to 3.  TENS in the afternoon and evening lowered it to 1-2.
Mood:  Not super giddy, but positive.  Not a bad day.  I'll take it.
(I think peanut butter, Arnold's honey wheat, and land o' lakes can probably be added as a cleared food.

November 30, 2011 - Breakfast:  Corn Chex and coconut milk.  Lunch;  Lamb, sweet potato, olive oil, pear, sea salt.  Snack #1 carrots.  Snack #2 mint Oreos (hey...might as well work on "clearing" this food also).  Snack #3 Arnold's wheat bread, land o lakes margarine and peanut butter.  Dinner:  Venison stew (venison, pear, carrots, celery, olive oil, sea salt), wheat roll.  Dessert:  mint oreos, corn chex, coconut milk.
Medications:  Prosed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID
Pain:  1-2 until 3pm.  At 3pm, became a 3, fluctuated between 2 and 3 all evening, with use of TENS.

Monday, November 28, 2011

I feel a bit "Vomity".

I have a "pet peeve".  I play Words With Friends commonly on Facebook.  I'm sure you've seen it; it's an extremely popular game.  It's like Scrabble, except that I get a good 48 hours to determine my next move.  And, the computer lets you know immediately (with no penalty) if the word you put in is invalid.  There's no challenging.  No stating to your opponent, "Why don't you use that word in a sentence?"  So, you can just mess around with your letters to see what looks right, and see if the computer accepts it.  Or, you can browse dictionary.com and see what word you can make with your available letters.  Do you think this is cheating?  I think there is this unwritten rule that you should know the word that you are placing on the board.  Anyway, as you can imagine, I am losing to someone who has not listed a single word that I know.  I was cool with this until I was just informed by the computer that the word, "Vomity" was just rejected.  Of course, I had it on a triple word square, with the "M" on a triple letter.  But, it's just a cool word; a word I seriously wanted to play.  Look!  I will even use it in a sentence:  I realized that it was unwise for me to eat a peanut butter sandwich before Zumba class when I began to feel vomity fifteen minutes into the class.  Poetry.
               Josie

The Numbers:  November 28, 2011.  Food:  Oatmeal, brown sugar.  Lunch:  Venison, pear, carrots, celery, sea salt, olive oil, sweet potato.  Snack - Carrots.  Second snack - Arnold's Honey Wheat Bread and peanut butter with Land O' Lakes margarine (3rd test date for this food) with Prelief first.  Dinner:  lamb, sweet potato, olive oil, sea salt, asparagus.
Medications:   Prosed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID.
Pain:  Level 2 with cystitis all day.  Vulvodynia and urethritis were a 0-2 all day until from 2-4 pm (when I was anxious at my doctor's office).  Considering a change from Prosed to Pyridium...I'm trying to decide what I think about that.  I was given the ok from Vitamin E and glucosamine/chondroitin - yes, I am going to treat my symptoms as if I were a cat.  I am that desperate.  But, I cannot deny that today was a good day.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Insomnia!

Ha!  I did not think that I would post today.  That was before I had a bout of insomnia, and now I am awake at 12:30 in the morning.  So, I will post, but this will count as for the 27th of November, as I have not yet gone to bed.

So, I had a large decrease in pain today.  That was before the GI issues started (I will spare you the details).  Of course, I am now wondering if this is some allergic reaction to my food, medications, etc.   However, my husband doesn't seem to feel quite right himself, so I guess I'm going to have to think that this means that we had a little too much junk (i.e. cheesecake).  Which is funny.  I was going to straighten up today with my eating (Saturday morning was just so damn bad!), so we placed all the the cheesecake and carrot cake in the freezer, and I started cooking lamb again.

Sorry, there will be no creative writing today; I'm too "blah!"
         Josie
November 27th, 2011.  The Numbers:  Food- Breakfast - wheat chex and coconut milk.  Lunch - wheat chex and coconut milk (that stuff is like "crack" for me now) with Arnold's  Honey wheat toast with Land o' Lakes margarine and Jiff peanut butter (I'm hitting this one repeatedly to see if I can clear it from the "bad" list.  It will make traveling so much more convenient!) and Laffytaffy/Gobstoppers.  Snack - carrots.  Dinner-Lamb, sweet potato, sea salt, olive oil, asparagus.  Dessert - blueberry pie and some Gobstoppers/Laffytaffy (I have got to give this up - not worth testing it in a food trial).  Midnight snack - Life cereal and coconut milk (the wheat chex was gone).
Medications:  Prelief at lunch and dessert.  Prosed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID.  That's it; weird.
Pain:  Mild cystitis throughout the day (2, maybe 3 at the worst.  Manageable - just felt like I had to maybe go a little more often.  No pain.)  Same for vulvodynia pain.  Colitis starting at 11pm, with gas cramping in stomach and maybe some heart burn, after the snake I had to try to settle the stomach (Bad idea?).  Abdomen has seemed "bloated" all day.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

The Case of the Missing Clippers

When I graduated from veterinary school several years back, much was written in veterinary economics magazines, such as Veterinary Economics, about how veterinarians were not charging enough for their services and how our profession was basically recession-proof.  Well, at the end of 2011, I think we have all learned that this idea was wrong!  It seems that most clinics that I visit to work are being financial conscious and worry about the days when business is slow.

The clinic for which my friend Amy works is no different, even though it is located in a large city, with some pretty lucrative clientele (i.e. famous people).  Even so, about a month ago, the owner (and Amy's boss) started to get on to Amy and the rest of the staff about the waste of clinic supplies when business was not large enough to cover the expense.  (By the way, this happened at the clinic where I was working regularly about 2 years ago.  There were ideas such as, "Let's stop wasting paper towels!  Let's have a community hand towel near the sink where people wash their hands!".  Although, of course, this is done in my home, the idea of implementing this plan for this work place was, in my opinion, ludicrous.  There was a large amount of pressure from management for both doctor's and staff to work while sick and not take a day off.  So, as a result, some cold bug was always circulating around the clinic, and everyone was sick on a regular basis.  There was no way that I was going to share a hand towel with this group of people!  I honestly think it would cost the clinic more money in long-run with decreased productivity as a result of increased illness.)  On top of all of Amy's boss's concerns was the fact that a new $200 pair of clippers (used to remove hair on our patients that have skin wounds needing medication/surgical intervention) had vanished.  Someone at the clinic loudly vocalized that they had seen Dr. Amy use the clippers last, about a week ago.  Amy agreed that she did indeed use the clippers on the day mentioned to clip hair off a tumor she later surgically removed from a large dog.  However, Amy insisted that she did not remove the clippers from the treatment area. 

Amy's boss would not give the issue any rest.  Finally, Amy told him that if he was so concerned about her removing an expensive piece of equipment from the hospital without permission (which she would never do), then he should review the security camera footage of the treatment room.  This was deemed by all to be a good idea, so the entire staff filed away into the manager's office and loaded the video.  They find the day in question and watch as Amy and her technician use the clippers to prepare the patient for surgery on the treatment table.  Finished with clipping, Amy steps into the next room to collect the surgical scrub needed to aseptically prep the mass for surgery.  The clippers are placed on the table next to the patient.  Meanwhile, the technician turns her head away from the patient to have a conversation with another staff member walking through the room.  All staff members watch as the patient kicks the clippers off of the table and into the near by trash can placed below the table.  Amy returns with the scrub, and the patient is moved into the surgical suite.  Watching the video with his staff, the owner of the clinic fast-forwards the video to the end of the day...when a different technician arrives to collect the afternoon's trash and take it out to the dumpster. 

             Josie

The Numbers:  Food:  Breakfast - oatmeal.  Lunch - 3 bowls of Wheat Chex (don't ask.  Sometimes I just get a craving for this, and I had a coupon) with coconut milk (trying to avoid dairy as I was having a flare-up today and the cheese cake was suspect).  Snack- carrots, olive oil, sea salt.  Second snack - Wheat roll (yes, I know there is milk in this) and pumpkin bread (I was obviously in a "screw this" mood).  Dinner  - Arnold's honeywheat bread with Land o' Lakes margarine and Jiff crunchy peanut butter.
Medications:  Prosed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, Vicodin this morning about 10 am, Flexeril at about 1pm.
Pain:  Woke up with an immediate level 5 urethral pain. Progressed within 2 hours to level 7-8 bladder pain.  That's when I took the Vicodin and started using a hot pad and tens.  By early afternoon, the bladder pain decreased, but a heavy urethral pain (6) remained with some burning vulvodynia (4).  We will pray that this will get better.  I know I will probably take a 1/2 Vicodin tonight.  I will be at my doctor's office in 2 days.  Mood was very bad this morning (level 8 of depression), and improved to about a level 4 tonight.

Friday, November 25, 2011

"They looked like zombies tearing apart human flesh!"

Oh, what a little change can do to alter your mood.  Yesterday, was Thanksgiving.  My husband and I were fortunate enough to be be invited to our friends' home for dinner.  This removed a lot of pressure on me to cook a meal when I wasn't feeling my best, and now we don't have those leftovers constantly tempting me to break my elimination diet.  Let's face it, I was told to try new things with food, and I was going to eat about everything available (in small amounts) on this day.  I knew I would go beyond cheating on the diet, and then wait to see if catastrophe occurred.  I decided my punishment would be that I would have to detail every single stinking ingredient in this blog.  I admit it; I have been putting it off.  To make things today even weirder, my husband took enough pity on me to take accompany me to midnight Black Friday.  Yeah, it started at 10pm at Wal-Mart, and it ended at 5am somewhere between J.C. Penny's and Anna's Linens.  At around 3am, we found groups of women tearing through a shoe display at Belk, which was when my husband made the above quote.  Somehow, I only used the restroom once this entire trip.  I'm not saying that I felt comfortable, but no accidents and I could walk/stand around large crowds for hours and be ok.  I think I should note that I feel proud of this ( as this was something I could not do in August, when I trip through the Harrah's casino ended with me sitting in tears).  Anyway, so this morning was actually around 12:30 pm today.  I joined the National Vulvodynia Association.  Well, I better stop procrastinating and run the numbers.
            Josie
http://www.nva.org/
The Numbers:  November 24, 2011.  Food:  Breakfast: oatmeal, pear (I think.  Yuck!   I hate it when I'm not sure).  Lunch:  venison, olive oil, sweet potato, sea salt, carrots, celery.  Snack:  Wheat roll from bread maker (regular bleached (evil) white flour, whole grain Whole Foods wheat flour, milk, sugar, regular salt, and yeast).   Thanksgiving dinner:  Turkey - injected unknown spices although it did not seem overwhelming, butter (probably margarine), garlic, salt pepper.  Sweet potato (ironic) with marshmellow creme, cinnamon, and sugar.  White rice.  Green bean casserole (Paula Dean's recipe, and it was awesome!)  fresh green beans, creme of mushroom soup, onion, chicken broth, garlic.  Mac and cheese: whole wheat noodles, mozzarella cheese, cheddar cheese, eggs, butter, milk.  Collards (not sure on the recipe, as my friend's grandmother makes it, and it is awesome.  I'm not even a true southerner, and I loved it.)  with ham hock and vinegar.  Trader Joe's rolls (I love Trader Joe's!).  My friend's mother's pumpkin bread (love it, love it love it!) - canned pumpkin, sugar, eggs, flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda, nutmeg, oil, vanilla extract, pecans.  Her mother's carrot cake (to die for!) - but don't know the recipe, but I'm sure there are carrots (duh!), cream cheese frosting, and possibly dried fruit.  My own blueberry pie (flour, salt, crisco, blue berries (duh, again), lemon, sugar, margarine).  Also, the peppermint cheese cake:  cream cheese, sugar, peppermint, Land o Lakes margarine, eggs, flour, sour cream, vanilla extract, Ducan Hines white cake, vegetable oil, Garabaldi white chocolate, whipping cream.  3am snack - pumpkin bread.
Medications:  Prosed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, flexeril around 1pm, 2 Advil around 5pm, Zyrtec SID.
Pain:  I would state definite urethral pain throughout the day, about a 4-5.  Vaginal burning.  Did not get worse at night; maybe even a little better. 

November 25, 2011:  (this should be easier)  Breakfast: oatmeal and pears (of this, I am sure!)  Lunch:  umm, yeah , the peppermint cheesecake and wheat roll from yesterday.  Snack:  Carrots.  Dinner: sweet potato, venison, olive oil, sea salt, carrots, celery, wheat roll.  Dessert will be blue berry pie.
Medications:  Prosed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID.  Likely a flexeril tonight.
Pain:  Off and on urethral pain, worst was a 4.  I can pretend it got worse after the cheesecake, but I was also sorting bills at the time, and we know stress can do it.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

All By Myself...

Well, it's the day before Thanksgiving, and last night I had a vulvodynia flare up.  So, I wake up early today and call my doctor's office.  That was worth a whole lot of nothing.  They told me that I couldn't come in today.  And, that I should use my steroid topical cream.  My doctor has seemed to have forgotten that I had a suspected topical allergic reaction to that cream about 8 weeks ago and will not touch it since.  Since I was talking to the nurse and she didn't seem to understand why I had a problem with this direction, I gave up.  I just rescheduled myself for Monday.  And, went the day without underwear since I was staying home.  So gross; I hate this.  And, I hate being "put off" by my doctor's office.  It makes me feel like I am not worth much; that my severe pain is not worth being treated in a timely manner.  That my comfort is not important.  I feel sad.

Today was really not so bad.  My pain did not progress during the day, which is good.  I only needed 1/2 of a Vicodin last night, and I actually feel that things improved some today.  Also, I started a new knitting project and made a 5 layer peppermint cheese cake (see below):

Do you think I cheated on the diet?  Is it really cheating, if you are told to slowly try new things?  At least one of the answers to these questions is "yes!"
                  Here's hoping things are on the right track...
                   Josie

The Numbers:  Food:  Breakfast:  oatmeal, pear.  Lunch: orange roughy, olive oil, asparagus.  Mid-day snacks - mint Oreos (still working on that bag)  Is this cheating?  I'm so confused.  carrots.  Dinner:  Venison, olive oil, sea salt, carrots, celery, sweet potato.  Snack - Yesterday was the cream cheese portion of this 5 layer cake.  I did lick the beaters:  cream cheese, sugar, sour cream, vanilla, peppermint, butter, flour.  Today, was the sour cream soft cake version (eggs, white Duncan Hines cake mix, sugar, sour cream, vegetable oil) and icing (white chocolate, sugar, whipping cream, vanilla).  Do you think there are enough milk products to cause a flare?
Which brings me to tomorrow.  I've got to be realistic - I am about to piss all over this elimination diet.  It's Thanksgiving.  I suppose that if I don't flare, I will start drinking milk again.   I better bring the Prelief!
Medications:  Prosed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, Vicodin 1/2 tablet.
Pain:  Bladder about a 2 all day.  Mid afternoon, I could feel it progressing to a 3, so I tried TENS for an hour.  Kinda creepy, but kinda cool.  It felt like a visceral organ massage.  Vulvodynia the worst was a 4 in the morning.  Decreased to a 2-3.  Attitude is better than it should be - not a bad day at all.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

System Failure: Reboot

With all of my traveling with work and doctor's appointments, I have gotten to love books on CD.  No, my 2005 Toyota does not have an mp3 player; I think I bought my car one year too soon.  Out of the several books I have gone through this year, I am proudest of East of Eden by John Steinbeck (it was an Oprah Book Club recommended read).  The book I am the most ashamed of is The Host by Stephenie Meyer.  I still can't figure out if I am more ashamed that I checked this one out from the library or that I finished the whole 22 CDs of crap (a day of my life, gone forever).  The one that I did enjoy the most (this I feel somewhat ashamed about) is Stephen King's The Cell.

King can write some crap.  However, when he gets it right, it's really good.  The intensity and the character development can be superb.  But, King will always have two faults.  First, the ending will always suck.  The villain and the destruction of the villain is never quite as good as it should be.  Second, (and this is the one things that really makes my husband go crazy with frustration) he never seems to research his technology.  Somebody, get this guy a better editor.  Anyway, with The Cell, the ending is not great, but decent.  The same can be said for the technology.  My husband's job involves the transmission of cell phones.  He said the technology research was fair.  I'll take it.

Anyway, in the book, a bad signal is sent through everyone's cell phones to turn the phones' users into some crazed homicidal zombies.  Over time, a "worm" or something similar gets into the computer producing this signal and sends messages with errors.  The effects on later zombies are variable.  They are less homicidal and more...I don't know...I can't explain it.  Let's just say that our protagonists are always talking about the cell's signal producing a "system failure" in our brains.  They wonder if there would be a chance to "reboot" the brains and try to pull back all the old memories and functions from before.  That's how I feel about this elimination diet.  It's not going so hot.  Either I (on my first day on it) and severely allergic to the first item I touched (milk?  chocolate?  brown sugar?), or this experience is all hormonal and I will be driving myself crazy trying to find some stupid correlation that doesn't exist.  So, to summarize, my body has experienced a "system failure" and it's time to "reboot" back to lamb, sweet potatoes, etc.  It's just so hard when Thanksgiving is here, and I home-made blueberry pie in the oven as I type this.  For real.

           Josie

The Numbers:  I have delayed typing all of this because (1) I am busy, and (2) because I don't like the numbers.  I'm like this in business too.  I am aware that there is a money problem, I have a decent idea what the extent of the problem is and ideas on how to fix it, but I don't want to know that actual numbers of what's going on.  For instance, I know that when I receive a job cancellation that I lost a few hundred dollars, but I haven't recorded the actual number of days I have been canceled on.  I made a promise that in 2012 I will track this (oh, it will be painful!).  For now, I promise to better track my eating.

November 19, 2011:  Food:  Breakfast:  pear, sweet potato.  Lunch - my notes say "lamb", but I thought I was out of it.  Dinner:  olive oil, sea salt, asparagus, venison, carrots, celery.
Medications:  ProSed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, 2 advil at 5:45 pm.
Pain:  Woke up great - no pain from 8:00am-9:30am.  Then, went to Yoga, when I started to feel icky.  Painful bladder of a 4 all day.

November 20, 2011:  Food:  Things got bad today.  Breakfast:  sweet potato.  Lunch:  venison, carrots, sea salt, olive oil, celery.  Snack - oat meal, brown sugar, pear, olive oil.  By now, the bladder pain is a 10.  I get pissed and eat all that I want for dinner (don't judge; life is hard) - pancakes (flour, eggs, milk, baking powder, margarine) with Heath pieces (it's as good as it sounds) and marshmellows.  Whole Foods french bread and asiago cheese.  Halloween candy - Laughy Taffy, Nerds, Gobstoppers.
Medications:  ProSed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, 1:00pm 1 Flexeril and 2 Advil (helped for an hour).
Pain:  Bladder starts at 7 and builds to 10.  Mood/depression an 8.  Vulvodynia 2.  Mood and pain seems helped by food or time...improved by 9:30pm.  Overall, very bad day.

November 21, 2011 - Physical Therapy day:  Food:  Breakfast:  sweet potato, oatmeal, olive oil, brown sugar, pears.  Lunch:  venison, carrots, olive oil, sea salt, pears, celery.  Snack around 12:30 pm - Oreo cookie parfait frosty from Wendy's (it's good).  Later afternoon snack:  Whole Foods asiago cheese, French bread, and same candy as yesterday.  Dinner:  orange roughy, olive oil, asparagus.  After 5pm pain started, I lost all control again:  1/3 box of mint Oreo cookies, peanut butter on toast.
Medications:  Prosed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID.  9pm - Vicoden.  Prelief before frosty.
Pain:  Work up feeling so great compared to yesterday.  Bladder is at a 2.  This all changes at 5pm.  Post defecating vulvodynia becomes an immediate 5 and persists.  Mood/depression a 7.  A great day turns very bad.  Not to be gross, but I could tell I ovulated this morning, and it needs to be noted.

November 22, 2011 - Food:  Breakfast: Oatmeal, brown sugar.  Mid-morning snack - back to the mint Oreos.  Lunch: Oatmeal, brown sugar, mint Oreos.   Dinner:  Venison, carrots, sweet potato, olive oil, sea salt. Did start a cheese cake today, and I did taste the batter.  More on that tomorrow.
Medications:  ProSed DS TID, amiptripyline SID, Zyrtec SID, Flexeril around 12:30 pm after jogging and sex.  I'm sure I will take a Vicodin tonight - I am that uncomfortable.
Pain:  Today seems improved, I guess.  Bladder pain is a 2, but the vulvodynia with visible erythema is working a 7 or 8 now.  This started around 6pm, and no obvious trigger noted (unless we want to include Oreos).  Low estrogen?

Friday, November 18, 2011

Positive Reaction (AKA FAILED!)

Day 2 on the challenge portion of the food trial did not go well.  I flared; majorly.  And, the hard thing is I do not know if I flared up because of my hormone cycle or the food I added.  And, if it is the food, I'm going to guess that it wasn't the oatmeal.  I was really bummed.  Really, really bummed.  When  you finally get a day when you feel good, it's like this high.  Somehow you truly forget how bad the pain can be, and every time I am able to convince myself that I am healed and done with this.  Then, the pain shows up...and you're like, "Oh yeah....I remember this..."  Well, I almost gave up and binged, but then I remembered that this can be a positive test for learning how to beat this cystitis.  Instead of failing, perhaps I have gained a new piece of information.  So, instead of a fun blog today, I'm going to have to dwell on the illness.
               Josie

The Numbers:  11/18/2011:  I want to note, that I think this was starting to build up yesterday, prior to my challenge of the Milky Way.  I noted I could feel the vulvodynia start.  Plus, I'm in a stressful period right now. I am finishing work at My Current Practice (I guess I should just call it The Ghost Cat Practice), and am still waiting to finalize on my next job.  AND, as if that weren't enough, my parents invited themselves to my home yesterday (they will show up Saturday).  "Why is that stressful?" you ask.  Don't ask.  You don't want to know.  Lastly, in favor of the hormone theory, my abdomen started to swell last night, like when I first started the Lupron.

FoodBreakfast:  oatmeal and brown sugar.  Lunch:  Venison Stew (venison, carrots, celery, sea salt, olive oil) and oatmeal cookie mush (oatmeal, olive oil, pear, brown sugar).  The pain was starting, so for some reason, I accepted the continued challenge of a full sized Milky Way bar (dumbass!).  Snack: carrots/celery.  Dinner:  orange roughy, olive oil, sweet potato deep fried, asparagus.
Medications:  Prosed DS every 8 hours, amitriptyline SID, Advil (2) at 2:00pm, Prelief at dinner (2), Zyrtec SID.
Pain:  cystitis 3 in the morning.  Up to 4 at lunch.  From 3-5pm was a 2.  6-7pm a 5.  Improved after 2.5 mile evening run and maybe prelief....who knows.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Restriction Removed!

Yea!  Today it was declared that I had passed the "elimination" portion of the diet.  Now, is the "challenge" portion.  This is where I get to eat what I want to figure out if I can stimulate my clinical signs to come back.  My doctor recommended that I be smart about this.  I thought I would go crazy and start binge eating, but I've worked hard on this for 4 weeks and I don't want to blow all that hard work by challenging a lot of ingredients at one time.  I'm sure all this won't matter in a few days, when Thanksgiving is here.

Today I added oatmeal and brown sugar.  And, a Milkyway "fun size" bar (why is smaller fun?  Like any kid would actually find a smaller candy bar to be fun).  And, probably the Three Musketeers bar.  Both of these from the freezer from Halloween.  Anyway, I am trying to make a limited oatmeal cookie.  It's oatmeal, olive oil, water, brown sugar, and pears.  Umm...it's not exactly baking up well.  Oh well.

  Josie

The Numbers:
November 16th - food:  sweet potato, pear, venison, orange roughy, carrots, celery, plum (the last one...and it was overly ripe.  I think we're done with plums for a while if I can't get good produce.
Medications - prosed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID
Pain - Great day yesterday.  Worked and no pain at all.  Mild vulvodynia in the evening - 2.

November 17th - food:  sweet potato, pear, lamb, carrots, venison, celery, oatmeal, brown sugar, milkyway fun size, three musketeers fun size
Medications - prosed DS, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID
Pain - mild to moderate vulvodynia burning during the day - but I had a lot of driving/errands that that tenses me up.  2-4 today.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Cleaning Bug

Ugh!  I got the urge to clean...at 10:00 pm.  Things like that are always so annoying.  I'm thinking right now that this cleaning is a good idea.  When I get up for work at 6:00 am, I won't be so happy with this idea.
        Josie

The Numbers:  Food:  sweet potato, pear, venison, celery, carrots, sea salt, olive oil, lamb, asparagus, plums.  Medications:  Prosed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID.  Pain:  Good in the morning.  4pm - 8pm vulvodynia with burning of about a 4. 

I've gotta get some new ingredients added to my diet.  Like oatmeal.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Beautiful Art

We have lived in our home maybe 4 years.  We still haven't finished painting it or even hanging pictures.  I guess spending money in that direction was never important to us.  Or, maybe I just never had the time.

Last weekend, Dave and I were randomly walking through Pier 1, when he finds a print of a painting that was on sale from $150 to $100.  I admit that I was surprised to find that Dave did pick something well that would compliment the bedroom.  It was almost worth buying it to celebrate that moment.  But, the fact remained that I would be spending $100 on a painting that meant nothing to me.  I grew up with my great-grandmother's oil paintings on our walls; it was just too weird to buy one.  Dave made a good point though; I had been waiting for a painting with meaning for over 4 years.

Today, I'm out of town for my physical therapy, and I stop at one of those discount pottery stores to take a break on the commute.  Low and behold, there is a painting to compliment the home...for $10.  It was so funny to me that I had to buy it.  There were a ton of them; this must be where hotel and hospital room prints go to die.  The artist had signed it; I wonder if he knew then how much (or how little) it would be sold for in the future.  It's really not so bad, as you can see.  I will get my husband to hang it up.  Then, we will trick people by telling them we spent a lot on it.
 I'm sure this is worth a million dollars.
           Josie

The Numbers:  November13, 2011:  Food:  sweet potato, pear, venison, olive oil, sea salt, carrots, celery, plum, orange roughy.  Ran out of asparagus, so none today.  Medications:  prosed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, advil 1 time.  Pain:  Great in the morning, about non-existent.  Started around 3pm - urination.  Weakened at 5pm.  Seemed to recur shortly in the evening, but always no larger than a 4.

November 14, 2011:  Food:  sweet potato, pear, venison, carrots, celery, olive oil, sea salt.  Out of orange roughy - will make lamb tonight.  Out of asparagus.  Purposely removed plumbs to see if it would change anything for the better - I don't think it made a big difference.  Medications:  Prosed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, advil SID.  Mild burning vulvodynia and bladder pain during the day, mild at a 2-3. Around 9pm - burning became a 6/7.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

My friend Amy has too good of a heart.  When I first met her in veterinary school, I was watching this young woman stop on the road walking on the way to class, pick up a roach, and carry it into the nearby safety of the grass.  It doesn't stop there.  Much to her current boss's dismay, she is always trying to save something.  If it is 2:00 am and she is on her way home from a night out, and there is an injured animal in the road, she will stop to save it.  And, by saving it, I mean she will put it in her car and bring it to the office.

One night, she was heading home from a late night, and she could see a squirrel dragging across the road in front of her.  She doesn't have a box in her car, but she does have an old blanket.  She lovingly wraps the injured creature into the blanket, and turns her car around for the 30 minute drive up to work.  Once inside she sets the squirrel down on the treatment table to open up the lock box to gather medication.  The little squirrel seems too injured to be saved (she figures it was likely hit by a car or attacked by another animal) but the least she can do is humanely euthanize it.  She pulls up the euthanasia solution, and that is when the trouble begins.

Amy is making her way back to the squirrel, when suddenly it springs up and starts to scamper from the treatment table to the nearby counters.  A mad dash ensues as Amy (in a nice dress and heals from an exciting night out) desperately tries to snag the wild creature that suddenly has a new grasp on life.  Finally, the squirrel finds an open door to pass into the ancient cabinets of the clinic and scrambles deep inside.

Amy spent about an hour that night pulling everything out of those cabinets, with no luck at finding the squirrel.  She eventually drove the 30 plus minutes back home.  I don't know if she left a note for the staff the next morning or not, but she did show up (on her day off) to return to the search.  I wish I could have seen the look on her boss's face, as she had to get a screw driver to remove some of the wooden paneling of the cabinets that the squirrel had wedged itself behind.  Once it hopped out, I think they just guided it for the outside door.  The squirrel would live after all.

             Until Next Time,
              Josie

The Numbers:  Food:  Sweet potato (I used olive oil and the sea salt to make "chips" today...it will have to do), pear, olive oil, sea salt, plum, asparagus, orange roughy, plums.  Dinner was brand new: Venison in the crock pot, carrots, celery.  Medications:  Prosed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, Advil 1 time.  Pain:  Felt fabulous this morning.  Around 3pm, the standard bladder urgency/focal vulvodynia started up - maybe a 4.  Took an advil around 6, and it vanished...back to a 1-2.

Friday, November 11, 2011

I always wanted to be a vet!

Whenever I meet someone for the first time and tell them what I do-for-a-living, there runs a 50% chance that the person I am talking to will respond, "I always wanted to be a vet!"  Everyone always has this dreamy colored vision of us running around hugging puppies and kittens.  And, I won't lie, those are the best appointments!  I love them.  But, there is also this really dark side to the profession, that the AVMA (American Veterinary Medical Association) really doesn't encourage us to talk about.  There is the acting of having to euthanize a dog or cat because they were hit-by-a-car, and the owner has no money to try to save it.  Or, the client that demands that you solve their dog's severe allergy issue, but refuse every diagnostic test that you recommend.  Or, you watch a little old man leave the side door of your practice, alone, after you just euthanized his last companion on earth, a little old cat.  It will break your heart and stress you to your breaking point.  Studies have stated that veterinarians are 4 times more likely to commit suicide than any other professional group.  One study, I think from Australia, stated that something like one in three veterinarians suffer from some debilitating emotional disorder, like severe anxiety.  Let me tell you, I know a large number of veterinarians, and I think that the statistics fit.

My husband always says that he thanks God that I have my best friend Amy.  We met each other while suffering through veterinary school.  We struggled through a few exhausting blocks together during our senior rotations.  We understand the other's secret deep monsters that will appear when the clients are difficult, the hours are long, and we are just flat out of coping strategies.  Unfortunately, for me, she lives across the U.S. from me, so we only get to see each other once or twice a year.  Fortunately, for both of us, we carry cell phones and talk regularly.  And, my husband fully understands that no matter what is going on in our lives here, if she buzzes my cell phone twice in 5 minutes, I really need to answer it.  My husband doesn't mind, because he knows that it works both ways.

Amy has some of the best stories.  I will tell you one of them in my next post.
             Josie


The Numbers:  Food:  (ugh!  I spent 3 minutes in Publix today starting at a chocolate fudge cake!  I want, I want, I want!)  Lamb, sweet potato, pear, carrots, olive oil, asparagus, plum.  New food:  Sea salt.  Medications:  ProSed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, Flexeril one time.  Still spotting, so no progesterone.  Pain:  I feel great (I just really, really, really want cake!  I feel like I am starving!).  I felt great enough to have wonderful sex this morning with my husband.  Yes, that detail is WAY too personal to add into a blog.  Unless, you suffer from vulvodynia...in which case, it becomes vitally important.  In fact, it is one of the major goals of treatment and something that I had to learn many months ago must be discussed about in my medical appointments.  Today would be a mile-stone; be happy for me!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

If I can cause the pain, maybe I can take it away.

Controlling my discomfort these past three days has been difficult.  It is not that I am medically doing so poorly.  On the contrary, I feel like maybe I am overall in a bit of an upswing.  However, the bank that I use for my veterinary relief business flat out changed my account and fee structure without my consent, and provided a simple one page letter to inform me of the change.  There was no explanation for the change provided.  My husband says it is the equivalent to stealing.  Really, it's just a royal pain in my ass to have to research another bank, buy new checks, transfer the money, etc, etc.  And, this stresses me.  The stress of course makes me unknowingly tighten those pelvic floor muscles, and the abdominal pain starts to return.  Plus, add to that the knowledge that I must have done a pretty poor job researching this bank when I selected it when I began.  I found out that by just simply typing "(my banks name) sucks", and a lot of angry websites pop up.  I will have to do better this second time around.  And, use this lesson as an opportunity to train all these abdominal and pelvic floor muscles to relax.

The other highlight of my day was unclogging the toilet at my church's Fellowship Hall.  It's a slow day.  I wish I had worked schedule today :)
                  Until Next Time,
                       Josie

The Numbers:  November 9, 2011.  Food:  lamb, sweet potato, pears, carrots, asparagus, olive oil, orange roughy (which Wikipedia has described as a large deep sea fish belonging to the slimehead family (Trachichthyidae)....Ew!), plums.  Medications:  Prosed DS only twice as I forgot one dose when work got really busy, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, progesterone.  Pain:  Low during the day, urinary and vulvodynia about a 1 to 3.  Evening had some increase - maybe a 4.

November 10, 2011.  Food:  lamb, sweet potato, pears, carrots, asparagus, olive oil.  No fish today - I get a little concerned about too much mercury.  Medications:  Prosed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID.  No progesterone, as I started spotting.  Pain:  It's there today - increased bladder/urethral pain, about a 4.  Ache in abdomen - maybe uterus - 4.  Focal vulvodynia pain at a 4 to 5.  Maybe there is a too much progesterone issue, and not a too low level issue?

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

A morgue in my freezer

I really and truly have a wonderful husband.  We had been married 7 years (hmm...I think that's right) before I developed vulvodynia/intense bladder pain 10 months ago.  He has since stressed and tried his best to find anyway to help me or ease my pain.  The worst part for him has been me telling him that there is nothing he can do.

Well, that has all changed!  He has jumped onto this elimination diet with both feet, without looking to see how far away the ground may be.  I came home from Yoga class yesterday to find our freezer and refrigerator absolutely filled with lamb, orange roughy, and venison.  Filled.  Like I am set for...I don't know what...maybe like 6 months.  Sheesh!  I really hope that I am not on this elimination diet 6 months from now.

So...does anyone know a good way to cook up venison?
           Josie

The Numbers:  November 7, 2011 - Food:  lamb, sweet potato, carrots, pears, plumbs, asparagus, orange roughy, and olive oil.  Medications:  Prosed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec, progesterone.  I had a large amount of difficulty emptying my bladder Monday morning, with the straining starting urethral and bladder pain.  Therefore, and I may regret this, I did not apply the Gelnique on this day.  Pain was a 5-8 by 11:00 am.  However, it greatly decreased, even disappeared, by 12:30 pm, after physical therapy and TENS.

November 8, 2011 - Food:  Food:  lamb, sweet potato, carrots, pears, plumbs, asparagus, orange roughy, and olive oil.  Medications:  Prosed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec, progesterone.  A little bit of trouble emptying at first morning urination, but it was non-painful.  Pain remained gone until about 4:00pm.  It returned like a bullet tearing through soft flesh at this time...while I was getting very very angry dealing with my business bank.  I'm trying to relax enough to see if I can get it to vanish.  It has improved.  Just more proof that stress and angry thoughts are detrimental to my health.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Cyndi Lauper meets Communion

I was 5 years old when Cyndi Lauper's Time After Time was a big radio hit.  I remember my father and I singing it together in the car as he was driving me back from gymnastics class.  (As a side note, this was in 1984, so I was sitting up front on a bench seat with my seat belt on...certainly not in the back strapped to a car seat).  When I heard Girls Just Wanna Have Fun for the first time, I was sold.  I wanted to be everything like Cyndi Lauper.  Her album was titled "She's So Unusual" and she definitely dressed in her own style.  One thing that was prominent in her clothing was the use of patterned and textured tights, often fish net.  Of course, at this young age I was too young to wear this clothing (or listen to She Bop, I might add), but I never lost my love with those tights.  I never wore them as an adult, because their use seemed to be limited to sex shops and hard core punks.  Until this year, when I see them filling up every young women's clothing department.  Yes, they appear in normal fashion the year that I am diagnosed with vulvodynia, and therefore, unable to comfortably wear tights or pantyhose.

My Hats Off to WeLoveColors.com for introducing a large amount of funky tights, in a thigh-high option.  The link will show you the veterical striped thigh highs I purchased, and promptly wore to church today under a grey sweater dress.  Whether it was in a good or bad way (I'm still not quite sure at this point) they were noticed, as I did receive a few startled looks and surprised (but kind) comments.   Maybe I should have chosen a different Sunday; maybe I should have chose a Sunday when I would not be standing up at the alter to receive Communion.  But, no, I did not think that far ahead.

I'm at the front of the church, with a mindset fully focused on prayer, as I note our Reverend walking to each person with the bread in his hands, symbolizing The Body of Christ.  Suddenly, I note that increased salivation that I have been getting with my intense cravings starting in my mouth.  Here returns that familiar feeling that I am starving!  Let's face it, The Communion bread is never that good tasting...unless you are on an elimination diet where grains are strictly forbidden...where just a taste could ruin all the hard work of over a week and a half of eating just sweet potatoes and lamb.  So, in front of everyone, in my patterned tights, I turn back to the pews and do not take Communion.

Was this the right decision?  I have no clue.  It really does not matter to me if a parishioner decides to note that I refused Communion.  Our church is really very open minded, loving, and with comparatively less gossipy than of others I have visited (hence, why I love my church).  It is just that it seems like God would protect me from an allergic reaction from a Communion offering.  Was refusing Communion a show of my lack of faith of God to care for me?  I don't know.  But, I did pray to Him my concerns, and I'm sure he understands.  I know that he must know what I've been struggling with medically these past 10 months.

Here's that link.  My color was lavender.
http://www.welovecolors.com/Shop/VerticalStripedThighHighs.htm#
God Bless!
     Josie

The Numbers:  Food:  Today I add in olive oil with orange roughy (That's a deep water fish.  I did not know that until yesterday.  It's allowed on the Elimination Diet).  Breakfast was a fried in extra virgin olive oil sweet potato patty.  Lunch was fish, carrots, asparagus.  Dinner - lamb, sweet potato, plum, asparagus, carrots, pear (I was hungry).  Too weak to complete regular 2.75 mile job without walking.  Came inside shaky - had 2 spoonfuls of honey.
Medications:   Prosed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zytec SID, progesterone SID, gelnique SID
Pain - Urethral a 4 in the morning after 1st urination (likely secondary to difficulty emptying my bladder, but resolved by noon.  Vulvodynia noted when using Scrubbing Bubbles - sudden 4 and then disappeared. 
Facial buring - a 5 at 8pm.  Had changed to neutrogena because face very oily.  Will not use tomorrow.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Craving Junk

I was initially supposed to work at My Regular Clinic today, but sadly I received a cancellation because business there had been so slow.  Us relief vets hate cancellations.  Basically, you have been committed to work a certain day, and then at the last minute you aren't working.  Then, you start thinking of other job offers you had for that day where you could have been making money, and you get angry.  And, I did have another job offer for this day.  That's twice now from this clinic and it is killing me.  Every place has been having cancellations; it's a major problem with the recession.  I suppose I need to think of a cancellation fee, but then I worry that no one would hire to me at all for fear of having to pay the cancellation fee.  I guess I stick with My Regular Clinic with a smile, because at a time when everyone seems to be cutting back on veterinary work in my area, this owner has decided to extend my time and overall, supply me with more days.  I feel blessed to even be working at all.


I'm sticking with the food trial and now I'm starting to crave foods that prior to the food trial I would totally avoid.  For example, I'm driving home from work last night and I see a Bojangles bulletin board with a large photo of a chicken biscuit in the center of it.  I have never deemed Bojangles to be exceptional (Chick-Fil-A is a whole other story), but all of sudden I wanted to be there so badly!  I could not imagine how I had not been weekly eating from the Bojangles menu.  I think I've eaten food from there 3 times total in my entire life.  I guess I just really, really, really want some trans-fat.
Other foods I have craved in the past 24 hours:
  • Dunkin Donuts plain cake donut
  • Dunkin Donuts chocolate cake donut
  • Homemade cheesecake with strawberry topping and a graham cracker crust
  • Graham crackers
  • Flavored coffee (I NEVER drink coffee...so weird)
  • Marshmellows
  • Backyard Burger - burger and fries
  • Mexican food!  Chalupa and tacos (I had to miss an outing with people from church last night due to this diet.  Ugh!)
  • Taco Bell Chalupa (Note:  I am not including this in the Mexican food category)
  • Oreo cookies - regular and vanilla
  • 3 Musketeers candy bar (currently frozen in my fridge)
  • Frosted Mini-Wheats cereal with milk
  • Fazoli fettucini alfredo and garlic bread stick (weird, because this is the worst Italian food out there)
  • Pizza Hut pizza
I guess it's worth noting that most of these are from cheap "fast food" places that heavily advertise.  Most are not that good.  And, all are easily accessible as soon as the food trial is over (even the cheesecake, which I can make myself).  I shall keep trucking along.
      Until Next Time,
      Josie

The numbers:  November 4, 2011- Food: Lamb, sweet potato, carrots, pear, plums, asparagus.  Medications:  Prosed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, progesterone, gelnique.  I stopped the Vagifem, as I am told my estrogen levels are ok.  Pain - Pretty good until 10pm last night.  During the good time, vulvodynia and bladder both were a 2.  After 10pm bladder was a 3-4.  Felt weak during exercise, like I am not getting enough "sugars".  Also, concerned I may have too much trouble emptying my bladder.

November 5, 2011- Food: Lamb, sweet potato, carrots, pear, plums, asparagus.  Medications: Prosed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, progesterone, gelnique.  Pain - vulvodynia at a 0-1.  Bladder/urethral - maybe a 2-3 all day.  Mood is good.  Hard to empty bladder - will lower gelnique dosage.  Feeling a little weak/light-headed today.  I will try to increase my protein intake (which is difficult, as nuts and beans are not permitted).

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Do I Smell Like Dead Meat?

I love to practice Yoga.  I'll be totally honest: I just love the positions and the exercise.  I carry minimal Zen within me.   The entire idea of concentrating for 1.5 hours on the breath alone constantly eludes me.  Recently, I grabbed a Groupon for 12 Yoga classes at a for real Yoga clinic for $24.  I mean the words "for real" because they chant and "ohm" and meditate.  Plus, they are strongly promoting a Vegan lifestyle.  Steve Ross (a famous Yoga Dude based in Los Angeles) says in his book Happy Yoga that when you are Vegan, you can catch a whiff of decay emanating off of the body of omnivores.  So, as I was receiving my complimentary neck and shoulder massage from the instructor, all I could wonder was, "Do I smell like dead baby sheep?"

The Numbers:  11/2/11 - Food - Lamb, carrots, pear, sweet potato.  Medications:  ProSed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Vagifem, Zytec SID, gelnique 1/4 packet.  Pain - Outstanding from 8 am- 5pm.  Afternoon at work was stressful, and I felt the bladder pain start to return during the afternoon/evening, up to about a 5 and concerns with leaking of urine.  Vulvodynia pain was a 2.

11/3/11 - Food - Lamb, carrots, pear, sweet potato, asparagus, plums (I got to add these 2 items per my obgyn.  Asparagus seems gross without some seasoning.  The plums were so delicious!)  Medications: ProSed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Zytec SID, gelnique 1/4 packet....Progesterone topical SID.  My progesterone levels were low when I had my most severe pain last Thursday.  All my prayers are on this being the fix...  Pain:  Bladder was a 3 today...some times less.  No vulvodynia.  Not a bad day.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The Biggest Loser - With No Effort

My drive back and forth to physical therapy takes about 3.5 hours each way.  I'm sure you must wonder why I travel so far, and I suppose that should be a topic at some point.  I'm just really not ready to discuss how I got to this point medically yet.  Just understand that I travel 3.5 hours each way once or twice a week.

Sometimes, I need to break up the drive just to give my mind (and rear end) a break.  About half way through my drive I pass through a major city.  So, I stopped at Forever 21.  I'm no where near 21 years old.  But, the clothes are plentiful, cheap, and I needed the break.  I find one of those sweater dresses everyone is wearing for $13 so I went to try it on.  If you ever get vulvodynia, you would understand why I have become such a dress wearer.  I put it on, and I can't believe how thin I look.  I am totally amazed...no wait...wait a minute.  Is that a slimming mirror?  Sure enough, the mirror is positioned directly in front of an extra wide door and slightly warped, both providing that slimming appearance.  I don't buy the dress; I'm note getting fooled by that one again.

Today I decide to weigh myself.  Well, junk.  I have lost about 5 lb since Sunday.  For real.  On that Lupron, my abdomen always had this constantly swollen appearance.  It's quite cruel really, especially if you are purposely making yourself infertile when what you really want is to become pregnant.  I'm sure that my complete lack of breads and sugars has not helped matters. Anyway, today I am regretting the lack of purchase of the sweater dress.

The doctor's office called to let me know that my hormone panel showed that I will be having a period soon and that the Lupron is gone.  Um...I kind of knew that.  I guess that part that saddened me the most was that I was suddenly hopeful that they were calling with some miraculous fix.  But no...

Until Tomorrow,
          Josie

The numbers:  Diet:  lamb (crock pot stew by my husband, who is desperately trying to provide me with variety), sweet potatoes, pear, carrots.  Medications:  Prosed DS TID, amitriptyline SID, Gelnique SID (1/4 packet), Zertec SID.  Pain levels: shockingly pretty good.  I mean, no where near perfect, but at this point, I will take what I can get.  Urinary - mostly a 3, maybe a 4 around 5pm and a 2 from noon to 3pm.  Vulvudynia, small flare up in the morning (3) but otherwise a 1.