In Bible Study last month, we reviewed Galatians 5:22: The Fruits of The Holy Spirit. I guess these are seven ways were are supposed to honor God through good living. They are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness. We were asked to pick the one that is hardest for us to fulfill. For me, it's patience.
I hate waiting, especially when I have no control on how to speed up the waiting process. I am currently waiting to hear about when I can start my new job. I am waiting to heal and "get better". Waiting to meet my new urologist. I think this is why I detest flying to my destination. Well, I suppose there are several reasons to hate flying: waiting at the airport, waiting on the plane, security checks, sitting next to someone with a nasty head cold that you know you will now develop once you reach your vacation destination. Airport food poisoning (I had that once; it wasn't cool). At least when you are driving, you feel like you are constantly making progress; unless you hit a traffic jam. I had a boyfriend once who told me that I needed to work on my impatience. He actually had the nerve to state, "Patience is a virtue". That relationship did not last long past that moment.
Anyway, I will actually strive to work on this fruit.
Josie
The Numbers: December 17, 2011: Food: Breakfast: Wheat Chex cereal and coconut milk. Lunch: Arnold's Honey Wheat bread and Jiff creamy peanut butter, red grapes. Candy. Snack: Farmer's Market chocolate chip cookies (yum!). Dinner: Venison, olive oil, sea salt, pear, carrot, celery. Publix French bread. I Can't Believe it's Not Butter. Dessert: What Chex and coconut milk.
Medications: pyridium TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, Cosamin, Fish Oil
Pain: Much improved from yesterday. Mild discomfort (bladder 3) on drive to visit my sister after 6pm.
December 18, 2011: Food: Breakfast: Wheat Chex, coconut milk. Snack: Dunkin Donuts blueberry donut. Lunch: Arnold's Honey Wheat Bread, Jiff Creamy Peanut Butter, pear, corn chips. Dinner: The Original Pancake House 3 pigs in a blanket (sausage in a buttermilk pancake, YUM!), hot syrup, real butter. Pumpkin Creape.
Medications: pyridium TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, Cosamin, Fish Oil, 2 Advil 3pm.
Pain: Significant lower abdomen pain (bladder? Uterus?) after 3 pm, until about 7 pm (4-5). TENS and Advil seemed to help.
December 19, 2011: Food: Break fast: venison, pear, olive oil, sea salt, carrots, celery. Snack: Salted pretzel at the zoo. Lunch: Backyard Burger with American Cheese, mustard, lettuce. Seasoned fries, mayo (my first "fast food"). Snack: Chick-Fil-A brownie with nuts (walnuts?) and icedream (my second fast food) - with Prelief. Dinner: Greenbean casserole (chicken broth, greenbeans, cheddar cheese, cream of mushroom soup) and Supreme DiGiorno pizza. I think I was really into tempting a repeat of the pain after eating at my favorite pizza place on Tuesday. I'm sick of "forbidden food". This has been going on for a year now....there is that lack-of-patience-thing again.
Medications: pyridium TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, Cosamin, Fish Oil, 2 Advil at 11 am.
Pain: Not a bad day, really. Did have that lower abdominal pain in morning (still unsure if bladder or uterus) at about a 3. Advil seemed to help. After PT at 2:00 pm, I did have vulvadynia ache/burn into the evening (3) - Zumba helped.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Ick!
I have no patience for anything this morning. No patience for my dog, who wants to lift his leg up on every mailbox we pass on our walk. No patience for my husband, who is scrambling online, as I write this, to try to order last minute Christmas presents for his family, when I have spent the last 3 weeks suggesting ideas that I guess weren't good enough to order ahead of time. Most of all, I have no patience for my current ObGyn, who has decided (after 3 months of treatment) that maybe she isn't the best doctor to fix my bladder pain and wants me to see a 3rd urologist. For this record, the urologist she recommended works in her hospital and his special interest is oncology concerning the prostate. Somehow, I don't think that he is going to have the most up-to-date information on female, hormonal bladder pain and incontinence. Honestly, I just feel hurt. I did some calling around, and I have referred myself to a different urologist who works for a local large medical university and treats only female patients with bladder voiding issues and pain. I'm really not a bad patient; it's just that this has been going on for a year, and I am sick of it. I will stop blogging now, and I'm sure this is no fun for you to read. I'm really only here to update my stats.
Josie
The Numbers: December 14, 2011. Food: Breakfast: Wheat chex and coconut milk. Lunch: Brown rice, olive oil, sea salt, spinach, pork, Havarti cheese, avocado, red grapes, mint Oreos, Christmas cookies. Dinner: venison, sea salt, olive oil, carrots, celery, pear, Trader Joe's pretzel roll, I Can't Believe it's Not Butter, one slice Trader Joe's pork sausage (gross! Not good!), crab dip, corn chips.
Medications: Pyridium TID, Zyrtec SID, amitriptyline SID, Cosamin, Fish Oil (down to BID, because I think it was causing intestinal cramping at TID). One Advil at the start of the morning.
Pain: I think uterine cramping (3-4) - as would be normal due to my cycle and the reason for the Advil. In general, I felt like I had to urinate a little more often but it wasn't painful.
December 15, 2011. Food: Breakfast: Wheat chex and coconut milk. Lunch: Vension, olive oil, carrots, celery, pear, sea salt, red grapes. My friend's almond bark candies (almond bark, Rice Krispies, marsh mellow goodness). Dinner: Trivia night pizza place: 4 cheese pizza and marinara sauce (big test meal). This meal was my first one "out" in several weeks, and it seemed salty, although my husband did not notice. I drank lots of water. I'm sure I had a Mint Oreo during the day.
Medications: pyridium TID, Zyrtec SID, amitriptyline SID, Cosamin. Stopped Fish Oil due to GI issues.
Pain: Great day! I wore jeans! Vulvodynia was a 3 after several hours in jeans, but resolved soon. One mild bladder flare-up for about 1 hour (pain of 3) after "holding".
December 16, 2011. Food: Breakfast: Wheat chex and coconut milk. Lunch: Local 5 ingredient salad place. My salad was: Romaine lettuce, carrots, olives, cucumber, corn chips, egg, fat free Italian dressing on the side (dipped something like 3 times). Dessert: Cookie Company chocolate chip cookie. Snack: Almond Bark candy, Arnold's Honey Wheat bread and Jiff Creamy Peanut Butter. Dinner: Oatmeal. Dessert: Mint Oreos.
Medications: pyridium 2 in AM, then 1 in afternoon, and 1 in PM. Zyrtec SID, amitriptyline SID, 2, Advil at 10 am, Flexeril at 2pm, TENS throughout the day, with ice/heat pad, Cosamin (1/2 dose, as running out and my order is late) and Fish oil started BID at afternoon dose.
Pain: I think you can tell by the above entry that I was painful. First, in AM, badder pain was a 1-2. Then, became stressed about the doctor issues (listed above), and with next urination, bladder pain went to 5, with urethral pain at a 3. Had present lunch with friends, came home, and bladder pain went up to a 7. Vulvodynia was absent to a 2 all day (the 2 during the worst of bladder pain). Mood a 5-7 all day - high depression and anxiety. At 7pm, felt improved enough for aerobic exercise, then bladder pain down to 2-3 for the evening.
So, back to the old, frustrating as Hell questions: was this pain flare do to the food, (4 cheeses? marinara sauce? sodium level?) , stress (having to "refer" myself again and hurt feelings), or hormone (Day 4, when Day 5-8 has been known to cause trouble?)? I guess no way to know for sure at this point, so I just keep tracking the trends.
Josie
The Numbers: December 14, 2011. Food: Breakfast: Wheat chex and coconut milk. Lunch: Brown rice, olive oil, sea salt, spinach, pork, Havarti cheese, avocado, red grapes, mint Oreos, Christmas cookies. Dinner: venison, sea salt, olive oil, carrots, celery, pear, Trader Joe's pretzel roll, I Can't Believe it's Not Butter, one slice Trader Joe's pork sausage (gross! Not good!), crab dip, corn chips.
Medications: Pyridium TID, Zyrtec SID, amitriptyline SID, Cosamin, Fish Oil (down to BID, because I think it was causing intestinal cramping at TID). One Advil at the start of the morning.
Pain: I think uterine cramping (3-4) - as would be normal due to my cycle and the reason for the Advil. In general, I felt like I had to urinate a little more often but it wasn't painful.
December 15, 2011. Food: Breakfast: Wheat chex and coconut milk. Lunch: Vension, olive oil, carrots, celery, pear, sea salt, red grapes. My friend's almond bark candies (almond bark, Rice Krispies, marsh mellow goodness). Dinner: Trivia night pizza place: 4 cheese pizza and marinara sauce (big test meal). This meal was my first one "out" in several weeks, and it seemed salty, although my husband did not notice. I drank lots of water. I'm sure I had a Mint Oreo during the day.
Medications: pyridium TID, Zyrtec SID, amitriptyline SID, Cosamin. Stopped Fish Oil due to GI issues.
Pain: Great day! I wore jeans! Vulvodynia was a 3 after several hours in jeans, but resolved soon. One mild bladder flare-up for about 1 hour (pain of 3) after "holding".
December 16, 2011. Food: Breakfast: Wheat chex and coconut milk. Lunch: Local 5 ingredient salad place. My salad was: Romaine lettuce, carrots, olives, cucumber, corn chips, egg, fat free Italian dressing on the side (dipped something like 3 times). Dessert: Cookie Company chocolate chip cookie. Snack: Almond Bark candy, Arnold's Honey Wheat bread and Jiff Creamy Peanut Butter. Dinner: Oatmeal. Dessert: Mint Oreos.
Medications: pyridium 2 in AM, then 1 in afternoon, and 1 in PM. Zyrtec SID, amitriptyline SID, 2, Advil at 10 am, Flexeril at 2pm, TENS throughout the day, with ice/heat pad, Cosamin (1/2 dose, as running out and my order is late) and Fish oil started BID at afternoon dose.
Pain: I think you can tell by the above entry that I was painful. First, in AM, badder pain was a 1-2. Then, became stressed about the doctor issues (listed above), and with next urination, bladder pain went to 5, with urethral pain at a 3. Had present lunch with friends, came home, and bladder pain went up to a 7. Vulvodynia was absent to a 2 all day (the 2 during the worst of bladder pain). Mood a 5-7 all day - high depression and anxiety. At 7pm, felt improved enough for aerobic exercise, then bladder pain down to 2-3 for the evening.
So, back to the old, frustrating as Hell questions: was this pain flare do to the food, (4 cheeses? marinara sauce? sodium level?) , stress (having to "refer" myself again and hurt feelings), or hormone (Day 4, when Day 5-8 has been known to cause trouble?)? I guess no way to know for sure at this point, so I just keep tracking the trends.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
My Name Is, What?
Ok. I'll level with you. My name is not really Josie. Obviously, when I started this blog, I did not want everyone locally to begin to ID me. Especially, if I was going to tell job-relates stories or talk about my medical issues. In retrospect, this seems to be silly, as the only people "reading" this blog appear to be in Russia, and I think that these are just random search engine hits. Anyway, for all you search engines, here is a random story just for you:
Several years back, I was completing my senior rotations in veterinary school. One patient was a large Rottweiler named "Josie" that had a large bone fragment in her elbow that made her lame. She came in on the start of my block, and she was quite memorable for a few different reasons. First, she had a lovely personality and was a great dog. Second, she broke out with the worst diarrhea I had ever seen (and I used to work quite heavily with puppies sick from Parvovirus infections) overnight in the kennel and ended up testing positive for having a massive giardia infection. Next, this information was used to diagnose the owner with a giardia infection also; the owner had been sick for weeks, lost 15 lbs, her doctors could not figure out why she was sick, and she and the dog both swam in the same contaminated pond. But, there is even one other story that still makes this patient stick out in my mind:
A senior block usually lasts between 3 and 4 weeks. Every morning starts with the surgeon and his/her resident walking with their veterinary students through the kennel to conduct rounds on patients. There are usually about 6 or 7 students per block. Anyway, in the morning, the exhausted students sometimes say very little, resulting in the surgeon "calling on" the student by name to answer the questions. Somewhere into week two, the surgeon would ask his questions and then randomly call on "Josie" to answer it. The dog "Josie" has been long gone. The students (male and female) stare at each other, in silence. Finally, the surgeon calls-on someone else, and the day continues. About a week later, "Josie" gets called on again. After the same, long pause of quiet, I answer it. To my shock, the surgeon accepts the answer and the discussion moves forward. It was at this moment that everyone starts to realize that he thinks my name is "Josie". I realize, to my horror, that my surgeon must think that I am the dumbest student in the block, for not only do I not answer his questions, I do not even respond to his voice. The students find this hilarious. Fortunately, the resident later ran to the surgeon to tell him his mistake. I receive a great apology and a A in the block. Crisis averted. However, sometimes, I do still get called "Josie" by my classmates.
Josie
The Numbers: December 13, 2011. Food: Breakfast: Trader Joe's Oatmeal cereal and coconut milk. Lunch: Arnold's Honey Wheat Bread, Jiff creamy peanut butter, sweet potato, olive oil, sea salt, I Can't Believe it's Not Butter (we ran out of Land O' Lakes). Snack: pear, red grapes (new food!) Christmas cookies. Dinner: pork, brown rice, spinach, yellow squash (new) olive oil, sea salt, fresh avocado, slice of Whole Foods Havarti Dill cheese. Dessert: sour cream based cupcake, Mint Oreo's, Walmart brand vanilla wafers.
Medications: pyridium TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, Cosamin, Free Fatty Acids. Advil (2) in AM for cramping.
Pain: Cystitis/urethritis about a 3-4 all day. Vulvodynia about a 3. Difficult to assess, as uterine cramping/abdominal bloating/GI bloating/colitis may be cause for discomfort. I know this looks icky on paper, but this was not a bad day. Mood was very good, and I could be productive. Did not use TENS.
Several years back, I was completing my senior rotations in veterinary school. One patient was a large Rottweiler named "Josie" that had a large bone fragment in her elbow that made her lame. She came in on the start of my block, and she was quite memorable for a few different reasons. First, she had a lovely personality and was a great dog. Second, she broke out with the worst diarrhea I had ever seen (and I used to work quite heavily with puppies sick from Parvovirus infections) overnight in the kennel and ended up testing positive for having a massive giardia infection. Next, this information was used to diagnose the owner with a giardia infection also; the owner had been sick for weeks, lost 15 lbs, her doctors could not figure out why she was sick, and she and the dog both swam in the same contaminated pond. But, there is even one other story that still makes this patient stick out in my mind:
A senior block usually lasts between 3 and 4 weeks. Every morning starts with the surgeon and his/her resident walking with their veterinary students through the kennel to conduct rounds on patients. There are usually about 6 or 7 students per block. Anyway, in the morning, the exhausted students sometimes say very little, resulting in the surgeon "calling on" the student by name to answer the questions. Somewhere into week two, the surgeon would ask his questions and then randomly call on "Josie" to answer it. The dog "Josie" has been long gone. The students (male and female) stare at each other, in silence. Finally, the surgeon calls-on someone else, and the day continues. About a week later, "Josie" gets called on again. After the same, long pause of quiet, I answer it. To my shock, the surgeon accepts the answer and the discussion moves forward. It was at this moment that everyone starts to realize that he thinks my name is "Josie". I realize, to my horror, that my surgeon must think that I am the dumbest student in the block, for not only do I not answer his questions, I do not even respond to his voice. The students find this hilarious. Fortunately, the resident later ran to the surgeon to tell him his mistake. I receive a great apology and a A in the block. Crisis averted. However, sometimes, I do still get called "Josie" by my classmates.
Josie
The Numbers: December 13, 2011. Food: Breakfast: Trader Joe's Oatmeal cereal and coconut milk. Lunch: Arnold's Honey Wheat Bread, Jiff creamy peanut butter, sweet potato, olive oil, sea salt, I Can't Believe it's Not Butter (we ran out of Land O' Lakes). Snack: pear, red grapes (new food!) Christmas cookies. Dinner: pork, brown rice, spinach, yellow squash (new) olive oil, sea salt, fresh avocado, slice of Whole Foods Havarti Dill cheese. Dessert: sour cream based cupcake, Mint Oreo's, Walmart brand vanilla wafers.
Medications: pyridium TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, Cosamin, Free Fatty Acids. Advil (2) in AM for cramping.
Pain: Cystitis/urethritis about a 3-4 all day. Vulvodynia about a 3. Difficult to assess, as uterine cramping/abdominal bloating/GI bloating/colitis may be cause for discomfort. I know this looks icky on paper, but this was not a bad day. Mood was very good, and I could be productive. Did not use TENS.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
The Case of the Stinky Dog
My husband and I don't have any children. I never felt "ready" for them until about a year ago. Unfortunately, that is exactly when all my medical issues started, forcing us to delay any efforts towards procreation. That places our poor little dog (a 20 lb, white fluffy mutt) into being our "kid". He is an "only dog" (I know, very rare for a veterinarian to have only 1 pet), and he has been known to be a little bit of a brat sometimes. I think it's similar to how a preacher can sometimes have the worst behaved kids in the church.
Anyway, we have a fenced-in yard. The weather has been lovely recently (mid-60's), so our dog has been getting plenty of opportunity to enjoy the outdoors. On Thursday, I let him play outside while I knitted in the living room. I left the main door open with just the screen in place. Suddenly, I smelled something wretched. It was just terrible; like something died. I looked up to see my dog grinning at me outside the screened door. I smelled him; I gagged. Yes, the stink was coming from him. Immediately, I gave him a bath (which he hates). Looking outside, I could not find the source of the odor. That night, I tried to describe to my husband the extent of the horrible smell. My husband did not look impressed.
Friday, I was smarter. I put the dog outside and watched. Sure enough, beside the large tree in our back yard, he starts rolling on the ground. Again, I can smell him before I even get close to him. Under the dog, I find a seriously decomposing rat. That night, my husband was greeted by me holding the rat up to his face. "Smell this!" I instructed, "and tell me that it is horrible!" My husband does one better: he goes outside and finds a second rat, also by the tree and even more putrid than the first one.
Now, this is when I start to get worried. Two dead rats. Why is this happening? Our dog cannot catch a piece of popcorn thrown in the air; we seriously have difficulty believing that he is skilled enough to hunt rats, even if he is a terrier mix. My husband starts assessing and digging into the ground, thinking that maybe there is a system of tunnels running under our constantly wet back yard. I worry that if my uncoordinated dog is catching mice, maybe they are disabled in some way, such as from ingesting rat poison. This is a scary idea. Many people do not know this, but many rodenticides are highly toxic to pets. One form prevents the clotting of blood. I have seen little dogs bleed to death (in the vomit, into the lungs, out the colon) from ingesting this toxin. Furthermore, most of these are delayed-acting, in order to ensure that all rats eat the bait. (The smart rat would avoid the rodenticide if it noted all of its buddies lying in a dead pile next to the rat bait, if the toxicity were fast acting). In theory, my dog could be finding rats slowed by rodenticide, eat them over a period of 2 weeks, and then start to show clinical signs of the toxicity and die later. My dog was carted to one of my vet clinics and his clotting times were checked. All normal.
Three days later, and I am preparing to take the dog in to the clinic to have follow-up laboratory work to continue to check his blood clotting values. My husband gives me a call from work. "Maybe," he says, "we should be looking up..." I walk outside to the spot where the dead rats were found and "look up". Sure enough, a giant bird nest sits in the tree, directly over where the dead rats were found. Yes, my dog is a stink rolling opportunistic. No rat poison concerns.
Josie
The Numbers: December 12, 2011. Food: Breakfast: Trader Joe's Oatmeal Cereal and coconut milk. Snack: Carrots. Lunch: Arnold's Honey Wheat Bread and peanut butter. Snack: Christmas Cookies. Dinner: Oatmeal, blue berries (new food!). Dessert: Mint Oreos, Vanilla Wafers, carrots. Sour cream based cupcake.
Medications: Pyridium TID, Amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, Cosamin, Free Fatty Acids, 2 Advil at 9 pm
Pain: Today would be Day 1 of cycle, although it seems to be "struggling". Bladder/urethra a 2-3 all day, a 4 (from 9-11pm, Advil and TENS seemed to help. Vulvodynia about a 2.
Anyway, we have a fenced-in yard. The weather has been lovely recently (mid-60's), so our dog has been getting plenty of opportunity to enjoy the outdoors. On Thursday, I let him play outside while I knitted in the living room. I left the main door open with just the screen in place. Suddenly, I smelled something wretched. It was just terrible; like something died. I looked up to see my dog grinning at me outside the screened door. I smelled him; I gagged. Yes, the stink was coming from him. Immediately, I gave him a bath (which he hates). Looking outside, I could not find the source of the odor. That night, I tried to describe to my husband the extent of the horrible smell. My husband did not look impressed.
Friday, I was smarter. I put the dog outside and watched. Sure enough, beside the large tree in our back yard, he starts rolling on the ground. Again, I can smell him before I even get close to him. Under the dog, I find a seriously decomposing rat. That night, my husband was greeted by me holding the rat up to his face. "Smell this!" I instructed, "and tell me that it is horrible!" My husband does one better: he goes outside and finds a second rat, also by the tree and even more putrid than the first one.
Now, this is when I start to get worried. Two dead rats. Why is this happening? Our dog cannot catch a piece of popcorn thrown in the air; we seriously have difficulty believing that he is skilled enough to hunt rats, even if he is a terrier mix. My husband starts assessing and digging into the ground, thinking that maybe there is a system of tunnels running under our constantly wet back yard. I worry that if my uncoordinated dog is catching mice, maybe they are disabled in some way, such as from ingesting rat poison. This is a scary idea. Many people do not know this, but many rodenticides are highly toxic to pets. One form prevents the clotting of blood. I have seen little dogs bleed to death (in the vomit, into the lungs, out the colon) from ingesting this toxin. Furthermore, most of these are delayed-acting, in order to ensure that all rats eat the bait. (The smart rat would avoid the rodenticide if it noted all of its buddies lying in a dead pile next to the rat bait, if the toxicity were fast acting). In theory, my dog could be finding rats slowed by rodenticide, eat them over a period of 2 weeks, and then start to show clinical signs of the toxicity and die later. My dog was carted to one of my vet clinics and his clotting times were checked. All normal.
Three days later, and I am preparing to take the dog in to the clinic to have follow-up laboratory work to continue to check his blood clotting values. My husband gives me a call from work. "Maybe," he says, "we should be looking up..." I walk outside to the spot where the dead rats were found and "look up". Sure enough, a giant bird nest sits in the tree, directly over where the dead rats were found. Yes, my dog is a stink rolling opportunistic. No rat poison concerns.
Josie
The Numbers: December 12, 2011. Food: Breakfast: Trader Joe's Oatmeal Cereal and coconut milk. Snack: Carrots. Lunch: Arnold's Honey Wheat Bread and peanut butter. Snack: Christmas Cookies. Dinner: Oatmeal, blue berries (new food!). Dessert: Mint Oreos, Vanilla Wafers, carrots. Sour cream based cupcake.
Medications: Pyridium TID, Amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, Cosamin, Free Fatty Acids, 2 Advil at 9 pm
Pain: Today would be Day 1 of cycle, although it seems to be "struggling". Bladder/urethra a 2-3 all day, a 4 (from 9-11pm, Advil and TENS seemed to help. Vulvodynia about a 2.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Leaving Town...Maybe
My sister works retail at a large chain department store. As I am sure you can guess, she is very busy this time of year. Amazingly, she has two days off in a row this week. So, I have this plan to leave home Monday, commute to physical therapy, and then keep heading out to see my sister for Tuesday/Wednesday. It should be fun. Of course, I'm having the all "high-and-mighty" attitude about the importance of properly using the elimination diet. This makes me the largest hypocrite, because I basically poured gasoline on the diet trial and turned a flame thrower on it. Then, I announced that I could do this because I'm writing a "detailed journal" on it all, and my doctor says it's "OK". Except, the more I eat, the more I dread the writing in the journal. So, I procrastinate. That is how we reach this point right here on Sunday night. I had made a very large list of things I had to do today before I left. Finally, I am reaching the last item: Journal Diet. And, I'm tired, hungry, and have no clue what I have eaten over the last 3 days. I think that it is important to note that I had a lot of dairy products. Although I did not "explode" (i.e., go to the emergency room in severe pain...yet), I do just feel like "ick". I think it is time to seriously consider decreasing dairy in the diet long-term. I don't mean never, ever have ice cream. Just not have ice cream twice a day. Maybe once a month. Maybe choose a chocolate chip cookie over ice cream; that doesn't seem so bad.
Josie
The Numbers: December 8, 2011. Food: Breakfast: Honey Nut Chex, coconut milk, peppermint candy. Lunch: Venison, carrots, celery, pear, sweet potato, olive oil, sea salt, asparagus, Whole Foods French Bread, Land O' Lakes margarine. Snack: Mint Oreos. Marshmellows. Dinner: pork, green pepper, onion, mushrooms, corn chips, rice, guacamole, spinach. Dessert (ok, I totally just gave up here) Sour cream cup cake (from the peppermint cheese cake, cake portion), frosting (whipping cream, margarine, white chocolate, vanilla), Whole Foods Havarti Dill cheese, Christmas cookies (with frosting), Smirnoff Blueberry Lemonade.
Medications: pyridium TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, Prelief prior to evening binge, Cosamin, Free Fatty Acids
Pain: In the morning, bladder and urethra at a 2-3. At 4:30 pm, strong urge to urinate, with bladder and urethral pain at 5-6. Jogged and did Yoga. Then heating pad. Pain decreased to 2-3. It should be noted this all occurred prior to the dairy binge.
December 9, 2011. Food: Honey Nut Chex and coconut milk. Mint Oreos. This day is very vague. I think I had a pear. I'm sure I had some Whole Foods French bread and Land O' Lakes. For lunch, I almost sure I Arnold's Honey Wheat bread, asparagus, sweet potato, olive oil, sea salt, pear. Dinner was the Sunday School Christmas Party, and I had no intention of eating according to diet: ham with pineapple, green bean casserole, carrots (look - I made an effort for 30 seconds!), cheese dip (with likely beef), Fritos, 5 layer cheese cake, crab roll up (cream cheese, Trader Joe's crab, red pepper, green onion, Mayo - I made these and it is good), "Death By Chocolate" (some pudding, coffee, whip cream, chocolate thing), peppermint fudge (the BEST!). I'm sure there was more. It was all good. Oh yeah...COKE!
Medications: pyridium TID, Zyrtec SID, amitriptyline SID, Prelief prior to binge (ha ha!, Cosamin, Free Fatty Acids.
Pain: You know, I don't remember any. I will just say "good day!" I did not use the restroom once during the party. I enjoyed myself...and forgot I was sick! I was sure I would "pay for it" tomorrow.
December 10, 2011: Food: Breakfast: Honey Nut Chex, coconut milk. Peppermint Cheese Cake. I'm sure mint Oreos, and Christmas cookies somewhere in there. Lunch - peanut butter and Arnold's Honey Wheat bread, and Whole Foods white bread. Then, I made donuts (I won a donut maker at the party!) flour, egg, vanilla, sugar, sprinkles, powdered sugar, milk. Snack: coleslaw, 1 bite Bar B Que and 2 French Fries at the Christmas Festival. Dinner: pork, rice, corn chips, guacamole, spinach. Dessert: More cookies. More cheesecake (I had to finish it...ugh!)
Medications: pyridium TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, Cosamin, Free Fatty Acids. Flexeril before bed.
Pain: Mild vulvodynia, burning and cystitis/urethritis around 5pm. TENS helped. GI cramping; I'm sure it was the food.
December 11, 2011 (At church today. Many people having food hangovers from the party 2 nights ago. People eating the cheesecake for breakfast; I'm never making that thing again).
Food: Trader Joe's Oatmeal cereal, coconut milk. Mint Oreos. Lunch: Arnold's Honey Wheat, Peanut butter, asparagus, pear. Snack: Trader Joe's pretzel bread, Trader Joe's spinach (with sour cream) dip, crab roll-ups. Christmas cookies (I now plead with myself to end the dairy binging. I feel like junk). Dinner: Brown rice, corn chips, spinach. Carrots. Pear. Oatmeal cereal and coconut milk for dessert. Mint Oreo.
Medications: pyridium TID, amitriptyline SID, Zytec SID, Cosamin, Free Fatty acids, Flexeril before bed.
Pain: Off and on mild urethral burning and vulvodynia burning (3).
Josie
The Numbers: December 8, 2011. Food: Breakfast: Honey Nut Chex, coconut milk, peppermint candy. Lunch: Venison, carrots, celery, pear, sweet potato, olive oil, sea salt, asparagus, Whole Foods French Bread, Land O' Lakes margarine. Snack: Mint Oreos. Marshmellows. Dinner: pork, green pepper, onion, mushrooms, corn chips, rice, guacamole, spinach. Dessert (ok, I totally just gave up here) Sour cream cup cake (from the peppermint cheese cake, cake portion), frosting (whipping cream, margarine, white chocolate, vanilla), Whole Foods Havarti Dill cheese, Christmas cookies (with frosting), Smirnoff Blueberry Lemonade.
Medications: pyridium TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, Prelief prior to evening binge, Cosamin, Free Fatty Acids
Pain: In the morning, bladder and urethra at a 2-3. At 4:30 pm, strong urge to urinate, with bladder and urethral pain at 5-6. Jogged and did Yoga. Then heating pad. Pain decreased to 2-3. It should be noted this all occurred prior to the dairy binge.
December 9, 2011. Food: Honey Nut Chex and coconut milk. Mint Oreos. This day is very vague. I think I had a pear. I'm sure I had some Whole Foods French bread and Land O' Lakes. For lunch, I almost sure I Arnold's Honey Wheat bread, asparagus, sweet potato, olive oil, sea salt, pear. Dinner was the Sunday School Christmas Party, and I had no intention of eating according to diet: ham with pineapple, green bean casserole, carrots (look - I made an effort for 30 seconds!), cheese dip (with likely beef), Fritos, 5 layer cheese cake, crab roll up (cream cheese, Trader Joe's crab, red pepper, green onion, Mayo - I made these and it is good), "Death By Chocolate" (some pudding, coffee, whip cream, chocolate thing), peppermint fudge (the BEST!). I'm sure there was more. It was all good. Oh yeah...COKE!
Medications: pyridium TID, Zyrtec SID, amitriptyline SID, Prelief prior to binge (ha ha!, Cosamin, Free Fatty Acids.
Pain: You know, I don't remember any. I will just say "good day!" I did not use the restroom once during the party. I enjoyed myself...and forgot I was sick! I was sure I would "pay for it" tomorrow.
December 10, 2011: Food: Breakfast: Honey Nut Chex, coconut milk. Peppermint Cheese Cake. I'm sure mint Oreos, and Christmas cookies somewhere in there. Lunch - peanut butter and Arnold's Honey Wheat bread, and Whole Foods white bread. Then, I made donuts (I won a donut maker at the party!) flour, egg, vanilla, sugar, sprinkles, powdered sugar, milk. Snack: coleslaw, 1 bite Bar B Que and 2 French Fries at the Christmas Festival. Dinner: pork, rice, corn chips, guacamole, spinach. Dessert: More cookies. More cheesecake (I had to finish it...ugh!)
Medications: pyridium TID, amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID, Cosamin, Free Fatty Acids. Flexeril before bed.
Pain: Mild vulvodynia, burning and cystitis/urethritis around 5pm. TENS helped. GI cramping; I'm sure it was the food.
December 11, 2011 (At church today. Many people having food hangovers from the party 2 nights ago. People eating the cheesecake for breakfast; I'm never making that thing again).
Food: Trader Joe's Oatmeal cereal, coconut milk. Mint Oreos. Lunch: Arnold's Honey Wheat, Peanut butter, asparagus, pear. Snack: Trader Joe's pretzel bread, Trader Joe's spinach (with sour cream) dip, crab roll-ups. Christmas cookies (I now plead with myself to end the dairy binging. I feel like junk). Dinner: Brown rice, corn chips, spinach. Carrots. Pear. Oatmeal cereal and coconut milk for dessert. Mint Oreo.
Medications: pyridium TID, amitriptyline SID, Zytec SID, Cosamin, Free Fatty acids, Flexeril before bed.
Pain: Off and on mild urethral burning and vulvodynia burning (3).
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Tis the Season
Ever since I dragged my husband out on Black Friday Midnight shopping, he has been complaining that it seems that no one is truly invested into the real meaning of Christmas. This is from a man who maybe attends church with me twice a year, but I totally see his point. When did it become accepted that you must buy for your child the #1 toy of the year? I was a child during the Cabbage Patch craze. They were expensive and people were fighting for them in the malls. Somehow, Santa with all his magical power did not bring the Cabbage Patch kid to my house of Christmas morning. I did get one 1-2 years later, and I was ok with this. I was more than ok; I was quite pleased. However, I was super confused why Santa was unable to bring me one, but could find one for my next door neighbor. I wasn't upset or jealous. Just confused by the "rules", especially since I knew for a fact that I was better behaved that that kid. So, maybe this is really just my attack on Santa Clause and how he has commercialized this religious holiday. If I can ever get healthy enough to make a child, that poor child is going to have it pretty rough around Christmas-time. I guess he can sympathize with the dog, who never gets the table scraps he wants, because I am a vet.
Anyway, I thought I needed a way to cheer up my husband. So, we invited our close friends, and their 4 year-old daughter, to our house for cooking marsh mellows on the outdoor fire pit we grabbed on Black Friday. The lights were up, we had Christmas music playing, the girl was chasing the dog, there were Christmas cookies and a cheese plate. It was lovely. And, it did really start to feel like Christmas.
Until Next Time,
Josie
December 6, 2011 The Numbers: Breakfast: Wheat Chex, coconut milk. Mint Oreos. Lunch: Jiff creamy Peanut Butter, Arnold's Honey Wheat Bread, Land o' Lakes margarine. Pear. Snack: Mint Oreos. Dinner: Pork, onion, green pepper, mushrooms, corn chips, spinach, guacamole, rice. Dessert: Christmas cookies and frosting (frosting has confectioner's sugar WalMart, milk, vanilla).
Medications: Pyridium TID, Zyrtec SID, amitripyline SID
Pain: Some cystitis/urethritis in AM (3). Used TENS. All pain a 1 in the afternoon/evening. Not a bad day.
December 7, 2011 The Numbers: Breakfast: Oatmeal. Lunch: Jiff creamy Peanut Butter, Arnold's Honey Wheat Bread, Land o' Lakes margarine. I'm sure an mint Oreo cookie later. Christmas cookies after lunch. Dinner: pork, green peppers, onion, mushrooms, corn chips, spinach, guacamole, rice. Snack with friends, MANY marshmellows, Whole Food's French Bread. Trader Joe's pretzel bread.
Medications: Pyridium TID, Zyrtec SID, amitriptyline SID
Pain: Yesterday AM 0-1. Did start with some vulvodynia (rear end burning) mid-day, after lunch/Christmas cookies that continued into evening (3). I have to wonder if this is a positive reaction? Maybe to the milk in the icing of the Christmas cookies?
Anyway, I thought I needed a way to cheer up my husband. So, we invited our close friends, and their 4 year-old daughter, to our house for cooking marsh mellows on the outdoor fire pit we grabbed on Black Friday. The lights were up, we had Christmas music playing, the girl was chasing the dog, there were Christmas cookies and a cheese plate. It was lovely. And, it did really start to feel like Christmas.
Until Next Time,
Josie
December 6, 2011 The Numbers: Breakfast: Wheat Chex, coconut milk. Mint Oreos. Lunch: Jiff creamy Peanut Butter, Arnold's Honey Wheat Bread, Land o' Lakes margarine. Pear. Snack: Mint Oreos. Dinner: Pork, onion, green pepper, mushrooms, corn chips, spinach, guacamole, rice. Dessert: Christmas cookies and frosting (frosting has confectioner's sugar WalMart, milk, vanilla).
Medications: Pyridium TID, Zyrtec SID, amitripyline SID
Pain: Some cystitis/urethritis in AM (3). Used TENS. All pain a 1 in the afternoon/evening. Not a bad day.
December 7, 2011 The Numbers: Breakfast: Oatmeal. Lunch: Jiff creamy Peanut Butter, Arnold's Honey Wheat Bread, Land o' Lakes margarine. I'm sure an mint Oreo cookie later. Christmas cookies after lunch. Dinner: pork, green peppers, onion, mushrooms, corn chips, spinach, guacamole, rice. Snack with friends, MANY marshmellows, Whole Food's French Bread. Trader Joe's pretzel bread.
Medications: Pyridium TID, Zyrtec SID, amitriptyline SID
Pain: Yesterday AM 0-1. Did start with some vulvodynia (rear end burning) mid-day, after lunch/Christmas cookies that continued into evening (3). I have to wonder if this is a positive reaction? Maybe to the milk in the icing of the Christmas cookies?
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
We can all laugh now, because everything is ok.
I received a call from a friend of mine Saturday afternoon. We used to work together at the same clinic (she is a technician), until I left my job there to try my hand at relief work 10 months ago. She loves chihuahuas. She had left work Saturday afternoon, after hosting a Christmas party for the practice's clients, and she returned home to put her little elderly chihuahua outside. Unfortunately, a hawk swooped down on the little dog (she is only 3 lbs) and tried to take off with her. This is the part of the story when people start laughing. I understand; I feel the same way. People who are not fans of these little toy breeds call them Little Rats, and here is Mother Nature confirming your name. Even though I no longer work for this practice, she called me to come in to treat her little dog, who was suffering from head trauma, secondary blindness, and was in hypovolemic shock. It suddenly was not funny. I worked for an hour and a half, and that little dog went home with her owner for a weekend of nursing care. I received a few messages last night, the little girl is doing great and getting her vision back. I told my husband, "The dog is ok. You may laugh now."
This situation stirred up many emotions within me. First, I realized how much, deep down inside, when I am not being abused by an employer/horrible schedule/etc. I love my job. I need it to feel of value. I want to work more, and this isn't about money. Second, I was scared; trying to treat a critical friend's dog under the spotlight of your old employer - there was just a lot of pressure. However, even though I was very scared, I did not become painful. I think this is helpful to reinforce that all my bladder pain and vulvodynia is not "in my head" or all stress induced. Third, although I would never want my friend to pay me, I feel that my old employer/practice owner should have voiced something, at least a "Thank You", for me dropping in last night. There are four doctors employed in that practice, and not one of them had to come in on their Saturday to work because of me. I don't mean to be a jerk, but it does leave a sour taste in my mouth. I guess this just reinforces the feeling that my efforts at that practice were never fully appreciated and that I had made a good decision to leave at the start of the year.
Josie
The Numbers: Yes, I have been very slack about blogging and recording. For several days, I did jot down some good notes by hand. I think I just wanted to feel normal and not sick for a while. Here is the updated info...to the best of my knowledge.
December 1, 2011. Food: Breakfast- oatmeal, followed by Honey Nut Chex and coconut milk. Lunch - venison, pear, carrots, celery, sea salt, olive oil. Snack: mint Oreos. Dinner: Honey Nut and Wheat Chex. Wal-Mart White Bread. Land o' Lakes margarine.
Medications: Pro Sed in AM. When became painful in afternoon, changed to Pyridium at 3pm and 11pm. Amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID. Cosamin BID
Pain: 0-2 cystitis/vulvodynia in am. At 3pm, cysitis/urethritis at a 4 - used TENS, which helped. At night, pain levels at 0-2, but colon cramping did start.
December 2, 2011. Food: Wheat Chex and coconut milk. Lunch: Venison, pear, carrots, celery, sea salt, olive oil. Wal-Mart White bread, Land O' Lakes margarine. Snack: mint Oreos, peppermints. Dinner: Orange Roughy, olive oil, sea salt, carrots, sweet potato. Dessert: mint Oreos, Wal-Mart chocolate chip cooie, Wal-Mart white bread, Land O'Lakes margarine.
Medications: Pyridium TID, Zyrtec SID. I forgot to refill my amitriptyline!
Pain: 0-2 everything in AM (worked food bank - no pain this time). 2-4 pm cystitis was a 2 and urethritis was a 3. I am pretty sure I used TENS afterwards (this is where I hurt myself by not making better notes), and all were about a 2 from 6pm and onward.
December 3, 2011: Food: Breakfast: Wheat Chex, coconut milk. Snack (went to craft fair) funnel cake with powdered sugar (only a small amount). Lunch: venison, pear, carrots, celery, olive oil, sea salt, Wal-Mart white bread and Land O' Lakes margarine. Snack: mint Oreos and Walmart chocolate cookies. Dinner: Lamb, sweet potato, asparagus. Dessert: Christmas cookies (sugar, flour, eggs, vanilla, margarine), as I tried to make my mother's/grandmother's recipe and FAILED. Not frosted yet.
Medication: Pyridium TID, Zyrtec SID, amitripyline SID, flexeril that night. Started Vitamin E. Continued Cosamin BID
Pain: 0-2 all in AM (I place the 2 because we walked all through the craft fair and the urethritis and vulvodynia may have mildly started. Urethritis about a 2-3 right before bed, so I took 1 flexeril.
December 4, 2011: Food: Breakfast: Wheat Chex and coconut milk. Lunch: peanut butter sandwhich, Anorld's Honey Wheat Bread, carrots, pear. Dinner: brown rice, corn chips, guacamole. Dessert: mint Oreos.
Medications: Pyridium TID, Zyrtec SID, amitriptyline SID, Cosamin BID, Vit E TID.
Pain: 2 cystitis/vulvodynia/urethritis in AM, became a 3-4 for vulvodynia when when to get Christmas tree (walking) (about 2-3pm). Mood a 7 (bad!). Took nap, got up and exercised - very well improved. Mood down to 3-4. Pain down to 2.
December 5, 2011: Food: Breakfast: Wheat Chex and coconut milk. Snack: carrots. Lunch - Arnold's Honey Wheat bread, Jiff peanut butter. Oatmeal. pear. Snack - regular Oreos, and Soft Batch chocolate chip cookies. Dinner: Pork roast (with olive oil, onions, mushrooms, green pepper), corn chips, guacamole, spinach, rice. Dessert - mint Oreos, peppermint.
Medications: Pyridium TID, Zyrtec SID, amitriptyline SID, Cosamin BID, VIT E TID.
Pain: 2-3 cysitis/urethritis in AM. weird abdominal palpation thing at PT. By PM - all pain was 0-2. Good day.
This situation stirred up many emotions within me. First, I realized how much, deep down inside, when I am not being abused by an employer/horrible schedule/etc. I love my job. I need it to feel of value. I want to work more, and this isn't about money. Second, I was scared; trying to treat a critical friend's dog under the spotlight of your old employer - there was just a lot of pressure. However, even though I was very scared, I did not become painful. I think this is helpful to reinforce that all my bladder pain and vulvodynia is not "in my head" or all stress induced. Third, although I would never want my friend to pay me, I feel that my old employer/practice owner should have voiced something, at least a "Thank You", for me dropping in last night. There are four doctors employed in that practice, and not one of them had to come in on their Saturday to work because of me. I don't mean to be a jerk, but it does leave a sour taste in my mouth. I guess this just reinforces the feeling that my efforts at that practice were never fully appreciated and that I had made a good decision to leave at the start of the year.
Josie
The Numbers: Yes, I have been very slack about blogging and recording. For several days, I did jot down some good notes by hand. I think I just wanted to feel normal and not sick for a while. Here is the updated info...to the best of my knowledge.
December 1, 2011. Food: Breakfast- oatmeal, followed by Honey Nut Chex and coconut milk. Lunch - venison, pear, carrots, celery, sea salt, olive oil. Snack: mint Oreos. Dinner: Honey Nut and Wheat Chex. Wal-Mart White Bread. Land o' Lakes margarine.
Medications: Pro Sed in AM. When became painful in afternoon, changed to Pyridium at 3pm and 11pm. Amitriptyline SID, Zyrtec SID. Cosamin BID
Pain: 0-2 cystitis/vulvodynia in am. At 3pm, cysitis/urethritis at a 4 - used TENS, which helped. At night, pain levels at 0-2, but colon cramping did start.
December 2, 2011. Food: Wheat Chex and coconut milk. Lunch: Venison, pear, carrots, celery, sea salt, olive oil. Wal-Mart White bread, Land O' Lakes margarine. Snack: mint Oreos, peppermints. Dinner: Orange Roughy, olive oil, sea salt, carrots, sweet potato. Dessert: mint Oreos, Wal-Mart chocolate chip cooie, Wal-Mart white bread, Land O'Lakes margarine.
Medications: Pyridium TID, Zyrtec SID. I forgot to refill my amitriptyline!
Pain: 0-2 everything in AM (worked food bank - no pain this time). 2-4 pm cystitis was a 2 and urethritis was a 3. I am pretty sure I used TENS afterwards (this is where I hurt myself by not making better notes), and all were about a 2 from 6pm and onward.
December 3, 2011: Food: Breakfast: Wheat Chex, coconut milk. Snack (went to craft fair) funnel cake with powdered sugar (only a small amount). Lunch: venison, pear, carrots, celery, olive oil, sea salt, Wal-Mart white bread and Land O' Lakes margarine. Snack: mint Oreos and Walmart chocolate cookies. Dinner: Lamb, sweet potato, asparagus. Dessert: Christmas cookies (sugar, flour, eggs, vanilla, margarine), as I tried to make my mother's/grandmother's recipe and FAILED. Not frosted yet.
Medication: Pyridium TID, Zyrtec SID, amitripyline SID, flexeril that night. Started Vitamin E. Continued Cosamin BID
Pain: 0-2 all in AM (I place the 2 because we walked all through the craft fair and the urethritis and vulvodynia may have mildly started. Urethritis about a 2-3 right before bed, so I took 1 flexeril.
December 4, 2011: Food: Breakfast: Wheat Chex and coconut milk. Lunch: peanut butter sandwhich, Anorld's Honey Wheat Bread, carrots, pear. Dinner: brown rice, corn chips, guacamole. Dessert: mint Oreos.
Medications: Pyridium TID, Zyrtec SID, amitriptyline SID, Cosamin BID, Vit E TID.
Pain: 2 cystitis/vulvodynia/urethritis in AM, became a 3-4 for vulvodynia when when to get Christmas tree (walking) (about 2-3pm). Mood a 7 (bad!). Took nap, got up and exercised - very well improved. Mood down to 3-4. Pain down to 2.
December 5, 2011: Food: Breakfast: Wheat Chex and coconut milk. Snack: carrots. Lunch - Arnold's Honey Wheat bread, Jiff peanut butter. Oatmeal. pear. Snack - regular Oreos, and Soft Batch chocolate chip cookies. Dinner: Pork roast (with olive oil, onions, mushrooms, green pepper), corn chips, guacamole, spinach, rice. Dessert - mint Oreos, peppermint.
Medications: Pyridium TID, Zyrtec SID, amitriptyline SID, Cosamin BID, VIT E TID.
Pain: 2-3 cysitis/urethritis in AM. weird abdominal palpation thing at PT. By PM - all pain was 0-2. Good day.
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